


Where the Hell Do the Volcanoes Come In?

by Waldo



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Humor, Illness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-09
Updated: 2006-06-09
Packaged: 2017-10-06 10:22:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waldo/pseuds/Waldo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney's lab went boom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where the Hell Do the Volcanoes Come In?

**Author's Note:**

> There was a challenge to write a story that uses this ridiculously long word. This is my response.

The lab explosion hadn't been as bad as they had feared. No one was dead, and most of the burns were superficial. The two techs that had been in there with Rodney had already been cleared and sent home.

Rodney had been knocked unconscious by the blast and still hadn't woken up. Carson wasn't sure if he should be worried or grateful. Rodney was much easier to treat when he wasn't awake.

Carson had treated the few shallow cuts and minor burns and after listening to Rodney's chest one more time, decided to put him on a bronchiodialator and some oxygen. Radek had a mineralogy team going over the debris, and it looked like Rodney could have inhaled some silicon, but nothing more serious.

Carson made a few more notes on Rodney's chart, left it on the edge of the bed and went into his office to update Elizabeth and ask if Radek's team had found anything new.

When he came back out, he found John sitting on the stool by Rodney's bed, poking at the tablet Carson had been keeping Rodney's chart on.

"Now I know you aren't fussing with his chart, Colonel," Carson said sternly hands on hips. Moving closer he leaned down and whispered in John's ear, "Sleeping with a doctor doesn't make you one by osmosis."

John grinned slightly at the barb, but kept poking and scribbling. Carson was relieved to see that John had pulled up a blank document and was scribbling on that. He could hear him mumbling under his breath.

"pneumo – like pneumonia – lungs. No – no? Um, okay… ultra – very, very microscopic – really tiny. Silico – silicon, isn't that what glass is made of? Volcano – volcano? Where the hell do the volcanoes come in? coni- dated her in 8th grade. Osis – disease."

Carson listened as John dissected the term he'd entered on the diagnosis line of Rodney's chart.

After a minute John looked up at him, "Disease of little tiny bits of silicone in the lungs?" he asked like a third grader just learning to read 'real books'.

Carson nodded and checked Rodney's sat monitor again. Ninety-one. Not great, but better than the eighty-three he'd had when he came in. "I didn't know American high schools taught Latin any more."

John smiled. "It's kind of like math. I just picked up on some of it. I still don't see where the volcanoes come in. Unless it's Rodney going all Mount Vesuvius when he sees the mess in his lab."

Carson chuckled under his breath. "Silicone dust frequently comes from volcano eruptions. It's how most people get this disease."

"'This disease'" John echoed back. "You can't say it either," he accused.

Carson sighed and said, "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis, it's also called silicosis, but Rodney's as bad as you are about sticking his nose in my notes. This should keep him busy for a while."

"Or convince him that he's dying of some incurable alien lung cancer or something.," John opined.

"Well, in either event maybe he'll get out of my charts."

Even as Carson spoke a low groan could be heard from the bed. "I have an incurable alien lung cancer?" Rodney moaned through the oxygen mask.

"Worse," John said flatly, "You have… the longest disease ever known to man. Filling out your medical records is now going to take months."

Knowing he'd been had, Rodney glared and dropped his head back against the pillow. "I hate you all. I don't know what I'm doing here, but I'm blaming you and I hate you all."

John and Carson exchanged glances. "He's fine," they said in unison.


End file.
